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random assortment [Nov. 14th, 2009|12:18 am]
I wrote a paragraph of ranting, realized what I did, erased it, and am now here.

I'm pretty okay with where I am at in life. I'm beyond exhausted, but I'm making it alright on my own. I put in my 40+ hours, I go to school full-time, getting some good grades, and I still manage to occasionally see some friends and family. I'm so grateful for my boyfriend and for knowing that he's going to love me the rest of my life. There's always so much pressure to settle down right away, but I have been realizing more and more that... hello, I am 22. I know, a lot of people have done settled down (and have done it much younger than myself), but that doesn't mean we have to. We know we're going to, and we want to someday, but we want other things to be a little more in order first. That's reasonable, right? Anyway, I could keep going about all the things going on, but then I'll just end up erasing and starting all over again. So, to end on a happy, happy note... 4 more days til Australia!!!! That's right. And I do deserve it! My hard earned money, being spent well! :) Happy weekend, everyone.
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I'm making my peace, making it with distance [Oct. 5th, 2009|08:45 pm]
[mood |whatevs]

I'm a bit older- I'm not sure I'm any wiser. I am, but sometimes I find my expectations for things constantly changing, because I'm not really sure what TO expect. I'm okay with that. I've found that much of my younger self has left; yet, I still have those things I won't let myself let go of. I also realized that I don't constantly need that affirmation from people that I feel like I used to need. I've got my few and that's all I need. Much has happened, but nothing's happened. I'm not sure when I got so independent with literally so many things, or if I have been this way forever, but I'm okay with it. I'm okay.
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Hands Down [Jul. 12th, 2009|01:27 pm]
Worst day of 2009 yet.

NOT pertaining to, of course, Caleb's wonderful birthday.
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(no subject) [Jul. 4th, 2009|12:17 am]
[music |home alone movie]

Basically all you need to know is that Ikea is FAN-TAS-TIC! Today was great. Shopped for essentials, rummaged through my house and got some great hand-me-downs, and packed up some boxes to bring by next Friday (as well as to see what else we need/get an idea how to set up the room). I'm having a hard time deciding what to paint my room... Right now this is my queen size comforter cover... (I'm gonna have blue sheets and blue/red pillows):

Photo 76.jpg

I'm not sure what colors to do my walls? At first I was thinking a light yellow/blue, but I don't know if that's too overstimulating? Any suggestions?

I've been checking out the Australia trip. It's not too bad. I just need to book it before I move out, or I'll never do it. If I still have over 6 grand by November, that's good, right? I don't know what people consider a "good" amount when moved out... I think that's alright, though? All this budgeting and analyzing is stressing me out! No more..

I switch positions either this week or the next at work (finally!). No more filing... I get to move on to the big man stuff! Woo. Go me. This sounds weird, but I'm looking forward to working in Escrow/Collections- whichever they end up deciding.

Happy 4th. Happy summer. Happy 23rd for Ev. Happy 3 1/2 for us. Happy growing up.
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Life is a changin' for the betta. [Jun. 24th, 2009|09:30 pm]
-I'm moving out August 1st in Long Beach.
-I'm keeping the job that I have at Action Property Management... I'll be working in collections (haha... I know. But hey, a job's a job, right?).
-This means, I won't be working at the school district anymore, seeing as it won't pay the bills.
-I rode 50+ miles last Sunday, and let me tell you, it felt amazing. I'm excited to do it again this weekend, hopefully faster..
-I got Catch 22 in the mail. I'm super excited to start my book list (and that I found one that I like).
-I'm registered for my cred classes at LB (so far 15 units- but only 12 units at one time; two classes are only 8 weeks long- starts when the other finishes).
-I'm excited and nervous to begin officially paying all bills n becoming a true grown up.
--I'm pissed that FAFSA won't consider me an independent until I'm 24, married, have a child, become a veteran, or have a dependent. Doesn't paying for all of your bills make you independent? If anyone knows how to get around this, please, let me know. Do they actually look for proof in some of those questions? I'm willing to exaggerate the truth a bit...
-I've made some big kid decisions and you know what, I feel okay about it. I know what "logically" makes sense and then I know what makes sense for me.

I've also have been thinking lately about how much people give their opinions to people, as if their advice is more important than the person making the decision, whatever that may be. Let people live their own life without fear of judgment, and live your own. Please. I'm thinking in general terms- I've just been noticing how freely people like to give, give, give their opinions. It's important, to an extent. But. It's not the most important. That's all.
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this is why i like summer:: [Jun. 8th, 2009|11:19 pm]
[mood |happyhappy]
[music |nobody's right if everyone's wrong]

-I'm not stressing about school work
-I have the time to go to the gym... (A LOT)
-I have the time to actually SEE people, especially those I have missed mucho.
-I have the time to think about things and reflect.
-I bought my AMAZING FUJI roubaix pro bike :) AND figured out how to work the clip-on pedals. I'm going to start looking into small races and mini-triathalons once I'm more confident.
-I totally feel apart of Evan's family more than ever.
-I just feel happy.

I no longer care if I take an extra semester for the cred program. I'm thinking about getting my gen ed credential, too, just to be more qualified... why not? Even though this has taken 6 weeks, I have lost 6.4 lbs on ww (first goal = 10 lbs by July 4th). I like having time and not stressing out... I'm not used to this, but I hope it sticks around for a while.

PS, if anyone wants to ride with me, lemme know! :)
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rambling... because i actually have the time... yeeeyah [May. 26th, 2009|08:53 pm]
[mood |happyhappy]
[music |the gurgling of my painful tummmie]

I graduated. It felt anticlimactic leading up to it, but then it came!! So unbelievably great.

The weekend itself was horrible. Going to the er was not exactly what I was hoping for on my grad day...I'm so tired of my stomach issues. They diagnosed me with gastritis, so I hope that's what it is (means that the acid that breaks down in my stomach is either too much, or I am just reacting bad to it). I'm not sure if that's what it is, but I hope it is...

So, now I have to decide what to dooooo:
-I think I'm gonna quit spagfag tomorrow!!! I just have to work up the nerve. I'm gonna write up the formal two-weeks and go in and just do it! I have to, I hate it! Ugh.
-Ev's aunt offered me a summer job at property management (where Ev works), and all I have to do is give her the hours that I could work-- she said I could work part-time, instead of full-time, since I don't want to work 5 days a week.
-I still have to apply to the credential programs (due july and august)
-I think I'm going to just take one class (an online one at Long Beach).
-I'm gonna buy a bike with the money that my parents gave me for grad!!! :)
-Ev and I are upgrading to the deluxe ddland pass :)
-Heath just got one and Adam's getting one soon... ='s double ddland dates :) woo!
-I love the bachelorette haha. go team... jake? i can't remember his name. I think it may be too soon to tell.
-15 more days until the last day of school at sunset lane!
-WANTS TO GO ON A CAMPING TRIP! (maybe malibu? somewhere by a lake/ocean? ideas, anyone? who wants to go???)

I finally have freeeeeeeeeeee time to seeeeeeee people againnnnnn!!! YES!

should i quit spagf? I'm so nervous, I hate quiting jobs!! that's why I end up staying in them for so long!
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amazing. [Mar. 30th, 2009|09:51 pm]
[mood |exhaustedexhausted]

When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep.
And when he speaks to you believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as
the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for
your pruning.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love.
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To return home at eventide with gratitude.
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

-The Prophet
Kahlil Gibran

One of the best/ most comforting spiritual (key word--didn't say religious) books I have ever read. Thank you Gilad Chudler.
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2009, whatcha got so far? [Jan. 30th, 2009|10:35 pm]
[mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]
[music |bitter:sweet]

+ I GRADUATE in May!
+ taking a HARRY POTTER class- go Ravenclaw!
+ Bradynn!! May 1st!!
+ starting special ed credential program in the fall at Poly or Long Beach
+ Meaning, I hopefully am moving soon.
+ my BROTHER is ENGAGED!!! WOO!!! I'm SO happy for him!
+ I no longer work Sunday nights- Sun lunches instead, which mean I have Sundays off- FIRST TIME in 6 months!
+ I have a DDland pass!
+ Ev/I had our 3/4 year anniversary in January
+ I love seeing my oldies besties mucho- they're def where it's at.
+ TRIPS: hopefully England in the summa, Capetown (possibly? World CUP!), and Australia/New Zealand
+ I'm growing up! :)

- Joel is moving to Chico for 3 years in the fall :/
- my credit card APR went up to 14.99% from 6.0% cuz of sucky economy times.
- I'm taking an OLD english class, an Elizabethan class, and an 18th century class... what?
- I miss Phylicia. 35 more days!
- I'm taking the CBEST/CSET within this month while having 18 units, too. God help me.
- My health insurance ends this year.
- I have to pay for all my grad studies, boo.
- I'm growing up.. :/
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P>S [Dec. 20th, 2008|11:53 pm]
These shows are recommended by me:
-The Big Bang Theory
-How I Met Your Mother (has been a fav for a while now)
-The Tudors (!!!! SO GREAT!!!! It's really accurate too. Good ol' Anne Boleyn n Henry... :) )---> on showtime, but you can catch em online:
---Watch on megavideo.

You know, just for those free, relaxing times/moments. :)
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